I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
