Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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