dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I pour the whiskey from now on
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
