return my video game
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize