Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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