Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
