Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
