ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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