i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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