allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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