What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
