I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
