Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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