beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
