is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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