giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
