Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
