I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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