I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
