Sry I called you an 8
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
