this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
