Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
