Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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