mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
