life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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