I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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