things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
