I think I died a long time ago.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
