I bet he comes in French.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize