Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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