if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there