apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.