i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
home. puking in laundry basket.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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