Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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