Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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