I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
