No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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