marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My friends, they love my intelligence
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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