we have pet lesbian snakes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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