Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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