i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wish they made helmets for livers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
