Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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