Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
