3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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