Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Randomize