Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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