she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
