She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
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Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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