Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
