She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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