Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
