Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
