Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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