I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
