It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we're so committed to being not committed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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