I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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