I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize