We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
