You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
