is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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