Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
