so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
