Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize