on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
