What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
