that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
