What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I wear drunk well.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
