so explain again why im purple
no
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
