I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
