Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
