Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
